remember . . .

Remember 2 summers ago when I had my bi-annual back-attack and could hardly walk and could only stand at a 45 degree angle and took in one mouthful: 2 tylenol-3's, 2 extra strength robaxacets, and 2 (illegal) vioxx (all that under the guidance of a doctor who is also my mother (who also smuggled me the illegal vioxx)) which didn't do jack for the pain, or knock me out whatsoever, and I was in the middle of teaching an NLS course which I couldn't get out of and so had to teach it in a back brace?

I was having more fun then than I am now.

death by integration

I have my first integral calculus midterm on Thursday, and it might just kill me. I am not expecting to do particularly well, mainly because I did not crack my textbook until this week. This is a habit of mine at the beginning of each semester - pretending I am still on break when clearly I am not. This is not to say I haven't done any work - my beloved tutor Muna and I got cracking on this course two weeks before it even started - It's just that I haven't done any work on my own outside of the one-and-a-half blissful hours I spend with Muna each Monday (and Saturday and Wednesday this week).

I find integral calculus (well, calculus in general) pretty meaningless. I can memorize how to do the work and go through the motions and figure shit out, but it's pretty much like a more torturous form of sudoku if you ask me. Paul claims this stuff is not only useful, but he actually uses it on a daily basis. I guess since I'm not in a field nor do I intend on ever being in a field where I'll have to use the limit definition of the integral to find the sigma of f(x) delta x as n approaches infinity, it'll continue to be Greek to me. The thing I find the most frustrating about calculus is how I can spend literally nearly an hour and pages and pages of writing one one single problem only to end up with a zero or a one as my answer. All that work for a friggen one! Give me something more profound! Although according to Paul, one is the most complete number there can be. It's why he always tells me he loves me 'one'. I love him 'one' too.

blog challenge debunked

Yep, I suck. I debunked. I quit. I threw in the towel. Wanna know why?

I had an insanely busy couple of days trying to juggle work, school, getting prepped for Paul's birthday party, throwing Paul's birthday party, recovering from Paul's birthday party (just in time for . . .), Paul's Dad's birthday party. Blogging just fell to the wayside.

I have committed to not blogging on the company dime, and have hardly touched a computer outside of work of late.

I have felt extreme rage and did not feel as though this blog was the appropriate medium for venting.

I have started another secret blog* where I can safely vent all I like, and have continued the blogging challenge on said blog without informing anyone as to it's presence or whereabouts, thus have not (in my mind) really debunked at all, rather just changed location. I'm sure this is in violation of the blog challenge rules, but really I don't give a flying fuck.

*if you can find it I'll give you $50 fo shizzle.

12/30

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11/30 - sorry no pics yet

The hair is cut, and I don't have any pics. It's basically just a bit shorter than it was before and with a few more layers. My regular hairdresser, who I have been seeing for the past 13 years, is on maternity leave, so I was seeing someone else, which I hate doing. This other lady also cut my hair in August and did a good job of dealing with my long/thin/curlyish hair, and I was equally satisfied with her work today. The annoying thing was this:

Super Skinny Hair Dresser: So, what are you studying?

Me: Food science. Ultimately dietetics.

SSHD: Oh, you'd be a good person to as then - what's the best way to lose weight?

Gah.

10/30 - hair today . . .

Tomorrow I am getting my hair cut. I haven't had it cut since August, so I am well overdue. I had hoped to get the cut over with while Paul was away, but life happened and I didn't. The haircut is a secret from Paul because he always totally freaks out in the days before my once or twice a year appointments - he thinks all girls should have loooooong hair, and even the teeniest trim for split end management should be outlawed. I'm not sure I'll do something dramatic, but I'm sure a small amount of change is in the air.

I'll leave you all holding your breath with anticipation for what tomorrow may bring. Pictures are promised!

9/30 - my boyfriend's back and I'm gonna get in trouble. . .

But only cause he's decided this is a 'treat week' and he's going to drag me down with him like he always does. It's so good to have him back! I woke up early this morning and saw my calculus tutor before heading to the airport to pick Paulie up. He's home, he's stoked to be back, and he brought some awesome Australian wine with him (some of which we've already been into, so apologies if the spelling isn't quite what is should be).

Arrived in the mail today was a US Triathlon mag, with an ad featuring Paul in a race he won earlier this season. It's his first spread in a mag, and I think it looks awesome! They sent us several copies, so if you know us in real life you might get so see one. If you're awesomely computer savvy and you can tell me how to get the image from an adobe file to a jpeg file so I can post it, then let me know and I will!

Back I go to enjoying my man.

8/30 - gah!

Omg, it's 11:15pm and I haven't done my post for the day. Good day today starting with a blissful sleep-in (all the day to 9am!!!), yummy whole grain french toast with organic maple syrup, visits with friends, produce shopping and other little chores. Watched the Survivor finale (guilty pleasure) and vacuumed and tidied the place up during the commercial. Paul arrives home tomorrow and will probably mess the place up within 30 seconds. What I wouldn't have to have that bike grease spreading chocolate stealing high maintenance pain in the ass home right this moment . . .

Off to bed I go!

7/30 - made it!

Long week over, and aside from a quick CPR recert tomorrow and some studying, I actually have mostly a whole day off. Amazingly in spite of the loooong days I've just had, I feel good and energetic rather than frazzled and exhausted and cranky. I think that trying to stay fueled with good for the body food and positive thoughts for the mind has made a huge difference this crazy week. Tomorrow I get to sleep in!

I can't think of anything else to say. Off to bed I go.

6/30 - long days

Today is day four in a series of five very long days involving various work and school commitments which mean I don't get home till close to or after 9pm, which sadly is bedtime for me. Today and tomorrow are going to be the longest days, with work, more work, work, and then a first aid course I'm teaching as a part of my side business, all with very little turn around time in between. Today I had planned to work through my lunch break and go home a bit early for a nap between work and going back to work for more work, but typically I ended up working through my lunch break and still staying an extra half hour. I did have a brief but very enjoyable visit with my one school friend from Langara who is also transferring to UBC, and I did manage to steal a half-hour half-nap while listening to the food network. I'm stocking up on nourishing food to get me through the next 36 hours, rather than relying on the 1/3 crust 2/3 cheese pizza I know will be waiting for me at work when I get back. I had another positive day at work, and worked through some interesting challenges while once again dazzling folks with my mad skills with the filter tank. They don't call me the queen of the filter tank for nothing!

Also putting a smile on my face is the lightening bolt I shaved into my pubic hair out of boredom the other day. I have a good giggle every time I see myself naked or go to the bathroom. You should try it. Seriously.

5/30 - happiness, in brief

Briefly again tonight, since it's waaaaaay past my bedtime (it's 9:27pm. sad, I know.) but I don't want to let those down who I've committed to these 30 posts in 30 days.

Yesterday I went to my doctor to have a conversation about stress I've been experiencing at work. I primarily wanted it to be documented, just in case for the future. The talk was much more helpful than I had hoped for, and although I have decided not to discuss work stress on this blog, I'll mention a few of the things I found to be particularly poignant;

-Not having negative discussions about work, at work. This a) brings morale down, and b) also can release negative stress hormones in your brain, both of which simply perpetuate the situation.
-Setting boundaries and leaving work at work.
-Recognizing that I am choosing to stay, and the reasons why.
-Realizing that the things I have no control over, I have no control over whether I stress about them or not, so making the choice to not stress about them.

I had such a glorious day at work today! Looking forward to the challenges tomorrow will bring. In less than eight hours. Off to bed I go . . .

4/30 - shoutin' out!

Today's post is a shout out to my sister and brother out-law, Cammy and Tim. Two of the coolest people I know, and I'm lucky enough to be able to call them my fake family. Big congrats for being almost new home owners, you lucky bastards!

Fifty word min, exactly.

Including the above statement. This explanatory line takes me over the min, and makes me feel more like a real blogger. Ahhhhhhhh.

3/30 - it's a mad mad mad mad class

I'm sitting in calculus class, first day. Somewhere to my left is someone very stinky. To my immediate right is a small girl who looks to be about 16 years old. One of those young math whizzes, I suppose. She has long scraggly hair pulled back into a pony tail, a bright colourful knit sweater, jeans about six inches too short with a cellphone stuffed in one pocket and a wallet bulging out of the other. Pink fabric disappears down the back of her jeans which I initially assume is a tucked in t-shirt, but later discover to be granny style underpants rising up armpit high. Her backpack takes up most of the space on the table we share, and she takes out a gigantic electronic pencil sharpener and an un-sharpened pencil.

The class begins and the prof begins passing out handouts. He passes them to whoever is on the outside of each bench, in my case, this Strange Little Girl (SLG). She doesn't pass them along. I, confused, ask the prof for another copy of the syllabus, to which he replies he's already handed them all out and indicates the pile next to SLG. Eventually she passes them along. He begins the lecture, discussing what this semester is going to be all about, his expectations, etc. SLG takes her pencil and pokes it into the electronic pencil sharpener. A loud WHIRRRRRRRR ensues. The prof pauses for a moment, and then continues. WHIRRRRRR. Pause. WHIRRRRRR. Pause. WHIRRRRRR.

The prof asks, "is that thing working?" "Not very well." replies SLG. The lecture continues.

"WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR," goes the pencil sharpener. "WHIRRRRR." Snickers trickle up from the back of the class (I'm in the front row, obviously). I pull a spare mechanical pencil from my case and lean over to SLG. "Why don't you borrow this one?" I ask. She takes it from me and begins to examine it, systematically dismantling it and then putting it back together. She puts it down beside her backpack and pokes her stubby pencil back into the sharpener.

WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRWHIRRRWHIRRRRRRR. The lecture continues, and the class continues to snicker. WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. WHIRRRRRRRRR.

"Does she need to borrow a pencil?" the girl to my left whispers, "I've already lent her one." I reply. WHIRRRRRR. WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

The prof looks at the class and asks, "am I supposed to say something here?" "YES!" roars the class. The prof looks at SLG and says, "could you, you know . . .?" and she puts the stubby pencil down. Thirty whole seconds go by. Pencil resumes position. Whirring resumes. Lecture goes on. Snickering continues.

WHIRRRRRR. WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRR. WHI......

"Could you just use the pencil I lent you?" I ask, "this is very distracting." This ceases the whirring for another thirty seconds or so.

(please note that at this point we haven't taken any notes yet).

The class breaks for five minutes, and SLG goes at 'er hardcore and sharpens the heck out of that pencil. Phew! Other students congregating in the hall commiserate about how annoying the first hour of the first class has been. My mechanical pencil is returned to me unused.

Class resumes, and by the grace of some magnificent force, there is no more whirring. Work starts, and the class is feverishly writing notes, with the exception of SLG who has taken out her textbook and has bent over the table firmly pressing her forehead into it. Her fingers travel in and out of her nose. Suddenly, a new, much quieter noise is coming from SLG. bzzzzz. bzzzzz. Her cell phone is ringing in her pocket. She fishes it out, opens it up and very quietly says, "call back later, I'm in class." pause. "NO! CALL BACK LATER, I'M IN CLASS!"

Giggling is coming from the back of the class. Thirty seconds passes, the prof is forging on with the lecture.

The cellphone comes out again. "I SAID CALL BACK LATER, I'M IN CLASS!!!!" SLG shouts into her phone.

Full scale, uncontrollable laughter comes from the back of the class. I am sitting very still, and trying with every fibre in my body to remain quiet. A girl apologies to the prof for laughing. He says not to worry, and then asks SLG if she needs to leave the room to make a phone call. She says no.

The rest of the class was fairly unremarkable, with the exception of this strange forehead pressing into textbook thing going on beside me. SLG didn't write a single word with her sharp pencil. Not-a-one.

This is going to be a long semester.

2/30 - Melancholy

Posting every day? I already feel as though I have bitten off more than I can chew . . .

Paul has been gone for nearly two weeks, and it is one more week before he returns. It feels like forever. Last time he went away it wasn't for so long and he wasn't so far away, and I was in the midst of midterms and paper writing, so his absence was a bit of a relief and it was nice to be in very quiet and very tidy space. This time he is gone for a week longer, and has missed most of my break in between semesters. Work has been stressful, and afternoons have been boring and melancholy. But good news! Integral calculus starts tomorrow!

30 days of blogging, and an introduction

So Christa and I have challenged each other to a post a day for 30 days to spice up our little blog-o-sphere a little. We haven't worked out any specifics of the challenge, like whether there has to be a minimum amount of words (100?) or what our official start date should be, but it looks like today for me.

I'd like to congratulate my dear friend Harmony on the birth of her first child, little Kai, who arrived on the 30th of April at a whopping 8lbs 6oz. I'm following the trend I started with my cousin, and posting a picture of the little guy without parental consent. (Tro, let me know if you want me to take it down).

Check out little Kai - isn't he amazingly gorgeous? Obviously, since he came from amazingly gorgeous parents!

things the wiley office mate can find when we share an office with someone who never throws ANYTHING away . . .

This pretty much sums up life at work lately.

Publication date: 1969.