Ga-Rumble

Grrr grrr grrrrr. I felt like the biggest rock star in my math class up until yesterdays mini-midterm. I made the classic mistake of spending way too much time on one problem, and then knowing I was running out of time for the rest of the test, panicking and doing a really sloppy job of it. I even was trying to solve word problems in my sleep last night. Okay, this is only 1 of 5 tests we right this term and I scored in the high 90's on the first two, and still have 2 to go, including the big final, so I'm still in a good position to come out of it all with an A, so long as I dust myself off, admit this was just 1 bad midterm, and carry on. I'm almost a little embarrassed though, like I want to send my prof an email and say, hey, I studied, I really did, I just couldn't remember the formula for difference of cubes, and I had to figure that out, and factor the heck out of it before I could carry on with solving rational expressions. And I KNOW that number 6 was not supposed to be a quadratic equation. Oh, or was it . . . could it have been solved using the zero product property? FUCK!

I am taking a small amount of comfort in the fact that all of this frustration is coming from a girl who only 10 years ago (only . . .) got a whopping 9% on the math 12 provincial, and flunked the entire year. Now I've faced my old nemesis head on, and am actually succeeding, and not only that, ENJOYING it. Wow. That boggles my mind. To further that, the frustration this time around comes from KNOWING where I went wrong, and desperately wanting to fix it, not from knowing absolutely fucking nothing, and feeling like I'm drowning in a sea of curly brackets.

There are not enough hours in the day. I do not get enough sleep. I wake up every morning and wish it were the weekend, and I didn't have to get out of bed. It was an insane idea to go back to school and work full time all the while (though I'll readily admit that while I am over worked, over tired, and stressed out, I am also happier than I have been in years. Perhaps since I lived in New Zealand and first experienced serenity. I am by no means serene right now, but quite satisfied).

Friends, brace yourselves for next term when I will attempt to tackle math and chemistry simultaneously. I will be a whirling dervish.