Upon the reccomendation of my therapist, Deb, I took a book-on-cd out of the library called 'Nonviolent Communication' by Marshall Rosenberg. It's all about learning to listen to people and hear their needs, and communicate your own needs. It teaches the difference between saying things like 'I feel neglected' and 'I feel sad because I think I am being neglected when we don't spend any time together', and it teaches saying things like 'I'm hearing that you have a need for (fill in the blank) that is not being met, and I'd like to learn how I could meet that need'. Stuff like that.
Deb makes me do weird things sometimes (unlike that other shrink I took for a test drive who told me she doesn't use techniques, doesn't give homework, doesn't reccomend readings, she just talks. whatever. I can do that for FREE with any of my friends), so I was a bit skeptical, but I took the CD's out of the library, and uploaded them onto my ipod (is that illegal? Anne, does that violate some library code of conduct?). I've spent the last week or so going for walks in the afternoon listening to this series of CD's, and I have enjoyed it SO much. He has a wonderful voice to listen to, and a lot of what he had to say hit me in ways I didn't expect it to. It's about a lot more than just communicating. I have taken great pleasure in walking around, wearing my hat, and listening to this guy, and taking a look at myself from the outside. I take some wierd joy in knowing that the strangers who walk by me have no idea what I'm listening to, and how peaceful what I'm listening to is.
3 comments:
Very happy to hear about this... sounds like a very good thing to be experiencing right now.
Hey sounds good! Maybe I should borrow them too - as my spouse and family members can testify, I tend to communicate like a battering ram. Ha. As for your question, there's likely no code of conduct, but it is a violation of copyright law. But, uh, I'm not caring. :-)
PS: that doesn't mean I literally batter people - I hope that's clear!!!
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