Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Urban Monstrosities

I'll be blunt - I think that Hummer's are stupid. I mean, what practical use could the Hummer possibly serve, other than the giant flashing dollar signs revolving over the hood, in urban culture today? Sure, they are a useful military ATV, and sure, they can take a real beating if you live way out in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere and routinely need to drive around in muddy, uneven, ditch-filled terrain. But a Hummer in the city? Friggen useless. Ever had to parallel park behind one? No thanks. It's just that they're so good on gas, right? And at a buck twenty a litre, I suppose that the only people who can afford to fill and drive the Hummer, are the same people who can afford to buy the Hummer. But really, I could put up with all that, just scowl under my breath when I saw one cruising down Robson street, really I could. Until yesterday. Yesterday, in the parking lot of my school, yes, I'll repeat that, of my school, there was parked a shiny, scratchless, mudless, ditchless, friggen Hummer. And why are my knickers in a knot over this sighting? BECAUSE IT WAS FUCKING PINK!!!! Fucking pearly shimmery opalescent baby girl pink. Good God! What the fuck? Meh! I have nothing further to say on that.

I'm too outraged to even give an update on the clot situation.

(It's much better, thankyou. My meds aren't quite stable yet, can't seem to find the right balance of blood thinners - it's a little too thin at the moment, which should explain the constant light headedness, as well as the strange nosebleed I woke up with this morning. Though that could still be a side effect of the hummer sighting. The arm is a bit achey still, but on the mend. I've returned to classes, and hope to be back at work after the Thanksgiving weekend.)

4 comments:

Christa Giles said...

The only time a hummer should be pink is if the giver is wearing lipstick :)

X.

Katie said...

Agreed.

sirbarrett said...

What the hang?!! A pink hummer! That's a paradox on wheels. I can just see something the colour of spring roses bounding over the mountain. I would be shocked. I hate those bulky, hungry vehicles. If I was going to go big and excessive and felt belligerent and insane, I'd just get a friggin tank and make myself a road through whatever blocked my way. Now smart cars, those are pretty.

Katie said...

Ooooh, I like that. What do you think the financing would be like on a tank?